Ah Lim Final Chapter

I have written about Ah Lim and his fuck buddy experience in my previous posts. I thought he has mixed feelings about transforming Celine from a good friend to a fb. He felt that he has lost a good friend as Celine was a good companion for him before that. They went shopping, spa, movies, dinner clubbing, like what other dating couples did, except they didn't hold hands. They talked about work and life, and Celine would give a listening ear when Ah Lim needed to pour out his frustration on his business. Well, thanks to me, I challenged Ah Lim to get close to Celine, and he finally made it. But it was a sad ending. Celine has stopped responding to Ah Lim's SMS, or answering his phone calls a month ago, and just today, I found out that Celine has changed her phone number without telling Ah Lim. Maybe Celine is guilty of the relationship as she already has a boyfriend. I thought this girl is very cold hearted. At least she should clear things with him, and not do the disappearing act. If she wants to stop the relationship, they can still remain as friends. Ah Lim just need to keep his hands in his pockets when they ever go out again. After this bad experience, Ah Lim will probably stop thinking of finding another FB soon.

Lovers and Friends / 迷惘

For now, I'm using the music from Chris Spheeris' Lovers and Friends as my blog's background music. However, Chris Spheeris is not the composer. Actually the first time I came across this music was from the G2000 commercials in Singapore during the late 80's. Since then, I fell in love with the music.



The song in the commercial is sang by Hong Kong singer / composer 郭小霖, and the title is 迷惘. He wasn't not very popular those days, only die-hard Canto-pop fans like me would know him. After a few years of struggle, he disappeared from the music scene. The sweet young thing in the commercial is 叶蕴仪.

Chris Spheeris picked this up in 1994 in his album Desires. I did not know about it until 2001 when I heard Lovers and Friends in the Best of Chris Spheeris. Today, it is still one of my favourite piece.

Oh, and why am I not writing about my 亲爱的? Since she has decided not to move out of her aunt's house, she has been busy playing mahjong with her aunt everyday. Her aunt said mahjong can help them to lose weight.

Not Moving Out

Today 亲爱的 told me that she has changed her mind of moving out of her aunt's place because she thought that the expenses are really unnecessary. She would also miss the mahjong sessions with her aunt as playing mahjong is her favourite past time. Therefore the final decision to stay with her aunt until ..... Her downpaymnet of RMB300 has been forfeited, but what the heck, she can win back the money from the game. In fact she was busy with her mahjong games for the past 2 days when I called her from Seoul.

Moving Out

亲爱的 has decided to move out from her aunt's place. Together with a friend, they're going to rent an apartment in 望京 as she is used to this area. Yesterday we went around checking on rental apartments but she couldn't find anything she liked. Today I have to go to Seoul, therefore she continued her mission alone. When I called her just now, she told me she has found a one bedroom apartment, and the rental is RMB2,100 per month. She's going to move in tomorrow. 亲爱的 said I can viist her new home during my next trip to Beijing. I don't know when my next trip is going to be, but I don't think it is so soon.

Weekend In Beijing

I've arrived in Beijing on Wednesday, and will be staying here over the weekend until Monday. Obviously my 亲爱的 has been staying with me since. We haven't planned what to do during the weekend, but since I have brought my Nikon D60 DSRLR camera with me, we'll probably be doing some photo shootings around Beijing. She gave me a surprise last night by wearing this set of lingerie before going to bed. Oh man!

A Message To Her Aunt

My 亲爱的 wrote a message to her aunt to let her know that she's very hurt after what happened the other day. This morning I heard from 亲爱的 that they have already patched up and her aunt has apologized to her.

北京的夜晚是凉爽的，但是感觉我的心更凉，没有谁可以明白我心里的苦，为什么在多的解释都是多余的，你宁愿相信别人也不要相信我，这点让我很痛心。正好验证那句俗语人言可谓呀，我的解释早就被你认定是在为我自己辩解的说辞，即使说的再多也只会越描越黑的。一直以来我都很尊敬你，虽说有时候还是有些叛逆，但那也只想过过嘴瘾罢了。今天你真的伤到我了，你让我感觉好委屈好委屈，给我扣上这么大一个‘罪名’。真的压的我喘不过气，今后的路不管我走的好还是不好，永远也不会忘了你对我的栽培。谢谢你小姨，在此也请你相信我至始至终我都没有背叛过你。

I thought this was quite well written. Anyway, glad it's all over, otherwise I won't know how to help her when I'm in Beijing next week to see her.

Possessive Relationship

The feelings of falling in love is simply magical. You're mesmerized by her, and cannot leave her alone for even one minute. You want to see her everyday, talk on the phone for hours, and in between, cannot stop thinking of her. However, as you're getting comfortable with her, the possessiveness mellows down. You know when to get serious with work, and when to have fun with her.

After two years of dating my 亲爱的, our relationship is still going strong, especially when it is a long distance relationship. She's certainly not a possessive lover. I don't receive many calls or SMS from her. She knows that I have to work during the day, and spend time with my family in the evening. It is always me that initiate the call to her: during my lunch break, while waiting for the next flight, or driving on the road to meet the next customer. She doesn't insist that I have to go Beijing every month to see her, or extend my stay in Beijing when it is time for me to return. She doesn't feel insecure as we have developed the trust needed in a healthy relationship.

What if the opposite happens? If the emotional attachment increases as the relationship develops, then insecurity develops, and this will create problems in the relationship. If your lover keeps on sending you messages every minute, knowing you are not there to receive it, then it is time to panic. This is the first sign of an obsessive lover. If due to any reason you are not able to pick up her call and she looses her temper on it, then definitely she is not in the right frame of mind.

Why should you suffer from a possessive lover? Even if you want to break up with her, she may still continue to call you up and tell you how much she misses you. Sometimes she even go to the extent of tracking you down and following you everywhere. But if you stand your ground, sooner or later this is going to end and then once more you can be a free bird.

Crying In The Rain

I had a busy day today as meetings were one after another since morning. Around 5pm, I received a sms from my 亲爱的：有时间马上给我打电话。I thought it must be something important, so I excused myself and walked out of the meeting room to call her. 喂，老婆什么事？ Then I heard her crying on the other line. Actually my 亲爱的 doesn't cry easily. I've only heard her cried once when she tried to break up with me last year. Other than that incident, it is not easy to turn on her teary tap. Even watching sad movies don't make her cry. 我在家外面，现在北京正在下雨。Then I found out from her that there is a misunderstanding between her aunt and 亲爱的, and this has caused her aunt to be really upset, and she has used very hush words on her like 你背叛了我，and even told 亲爱的 to move out of her house. Well，亲爱的 is very hurt as she really respect her aunt, and cannot understand why her aunt didn't trust her. As for me, I couldn't really do much except to lend a listening ear.

July Rhapsody

July Rhapsody (男人四十）is a movie directed by Ann Hui, and the story is about a teacher at the age of 40,and he's going through a mid-life crisis. A very seductive sweet young thing has a crush on him, and so he couldn't resist temptation and fell for her. I am 40 this year, and just like the guy in the story, I have fallen in love with a 22 year old girl. I have not planned for this; it just happened naturally. I know our age gap is just too wide apart, but if we're struck by Cupid's arrow, what else can we do?

My 亲爱的 is also puzzled why she could fall in love with me. She doesn't have the answer to it. Her dream lover is actually someone in the late 20s with established career, but it turned out to be otherwise. She thought that we are just fated to be together. Actually she has many suitors. There was this guy from Shanxi that used to give her money whenever he visited her aunt; a neighbour has proposed to her during Valentine's day with 12 stalks of roses; her ex-boyfriend tried to patch up with her over QQ. When she was in Chengdu for a month, her regular taxi driver in Beijing called her almost everyday to tell her that he missed her. Just last week, she met a few former classmates in Chengdu for drinks, and one guy asked her in the face if she could be his girlfriend. When 亲爱的 told him that she's already attached, the guy said 他可以给你的，我也做得到.

Why do I have a 亲爱的? I need some excitement to get my adrenaline going, and a new love to motivate me. My life is boring and monotonous. It is about work and home. She just happened to be there when I needed another person to fill in the missing gaps. Maybe I'm just being selfish, but I have real feelings for her. I care very much about her present and her future. I'll be helping her to set up a business in Shanghai, so that she can be financially independent. In ten years time, I like her to look back and be thankful to her 亲爱的，who has once helped her before.